In 2022, when I knew I would be losing my hair from chemotherapy, I almost immediately thought of a plan to replace it.
Why not have some fun and radically change my hair before I lost it all? I had been led to believe my hair would start falling out between Week 2 and Week 3 of treatment. I had a vision of something lilac-purpley. Purple is my favorite color, and I figured if ever there was a time to go wild, it would be now. What’s the worst that could happen if it was all going to fall out anyway?
I scoured the Internet looking for the color and style I had in mind, and I found what I thought was the perfect representation, color-wise.
I went to my hair salon to see if my stylist was there to discuss this idea. She was not, but the desk was manned by a young stylist. I told her my idea and asked her what that process might be like. Based on the information she provided, it was obvious that I didn't have enough time to get the whole thing done and enjoy my new hair for very long. But, she had a solution/suggestion as an alternative:
“Buy an inexpensive blonde wig. We can dye and style it for you."
"Really? Oh wow, great!" I said. "I’ll do that! Thank you so much for the suggestion!"
We made an appointment for me to drop off the wig for its dying/styling process, and I went home. I immediately started looking online. I found a nice-looking and, yes, inexpensive blonde wig. It was a fun wig -- I look like Shakira or maybe remotely like Jennifer Aniston?
I brought the wig into the salon to show the stylist.
"It looks good," she said. "Just bring it back in on your appointment date."
"OK," I said, and I departed.
Then, between this visit and my appointment date, the stylist texted me.
"Is that a human hair wig you bought?" she asked.
"No, it's just a synthetic hair wig," I say. "You said to buy something inexpensive. Why do you ask? Do I need a human hair wig?"
"Yeah, we can't dye synthetic hair,” she replied.
"Ummm, OK,” I write back. “But now my appointment is in less than two full days, and you never said anything about the type you needed. I can't be sure I'm going to have a human hair wig in time now. What am I supposed to do at this point?”
I am definitely miffed by this curve ball.
"Let me look into it a bit and get back to you."
Later that day I got a new text: "There is a nearby location you can go to. They sell a lot of wigs."
She sends me a screen shot of a listing she's found but it has no address. I start trying to find the place. I search for it on Google and Google Maps and even online places, but its exact location is not very clear. Ultimately, I decide to drive to the general vicinity, and found the place…oh, what a place it was! It’s a whole warehouse of hair and hair care products it is, its entire back wall filled with human hair wigs. I am feeling pretty good about this.
The problem was, though, that in an entire wall full of human hair wigs, they only had ONE blonde wig. Its hair is waist-long. And it was too expensive. Uh-oh. I didn't like the idea of my purple wig that much! I get to talking to one of the salesclerks there.
"I need a blonde human hair wig," I say, "And I don't need or want that one. Do you have anything else, maybe in the back?"
She goes back and looks. She talks to one of the store owners. Nada. They chatter some more while I'm off to the side, and the clerk eventually comes back to me.
"You can actually dye any of these human hair wigs to any color. They are real hair. What is your budget?"
I tell her my budget. She finds me a dark brunette lob-style human hair wig that's quite a nice style with some wave and side bangs.
I ask the clerk, "Will my stylist know what to do to dye this wig? Is there a particular method specific to wigs?"
The clerk says, "Yes, the Dip Method," and promptly takes out her phone to show me a YouTube video on this method. It's basically a method where the wig is submerged in a sink or vat of hair bleach to remove the color.
I then say, "I'm not sure my stylist will know how to do this, so before I buy this let me send her a text and find out."
I text the stylist and specifically ask her about the Dip Method. She does not respond, so I then ask the clerk if I can buy the wig and return it if my stylist doesn't think the whole thing is going to work.
"No, sorry. All wigs are final sale -- no refunds, no returns."
I tell her thanks but no thanks. I'm not willing to place a gamble. I leave the store.
On my way home, the stylist returns my text.
"Yes, I can bleach the human hair wig," she says.
"OK, but I'll have to go back tomorrow. It's already dinnertime for me, and I'm too close to home at this point."
The next day, I returned to the store to buy the wig. After waiting a while, I eventually walked out of the store with the wig plus a package of wig caps.
At my salon appointment time the following day, I dropped off my new human hair wig.
Soon I got a text from one of my neighbor friends: "Guess what's holding up my hair appointment?!" and she sends me a picture of my wig being dyed by the stylist. I can see immediately it is not being dyed by the dip method! I am a little freaked-out but keeping the faith.
The next day I got a new text from the stylist: "I'm really sorry, but I can't bleach-out your wig. I have tried twice, and I'm going to really damage the wig if I try a third time."
At this point, I am not happy. I ask her to send me a picture of what it looks like, and she does. The wig is a brassy, Lucille Ball red hair color but not even that nice. Definitely not what I was going for.
"I can dye it a dark color like cherry-purple or a dark copper color now if you’d like," she offers.
"Please don't do anything further,” I reply. “I need to figure out what I'm going to do."
My mind races. I'm thinking this plan needs to be scrapped.
I need to cut my losses. I later think, "I need to talk to the salon owner to sort this all out because I've really been misled all along." And even later on, I think, "I'm just going to pick up my wig and try dying it with my own boxed hair color.” Before my diagnosis, I had been dying my own hair and had recently bought six boxes of the stuff -- more than a half-year supply -- anyway, and now I wouldn't need them at all!
A week or two went by. I had other priorities. I had a million other medical appointments to set up and attend. I started my treatment. Eventually, I even bought a baseball cap with hair attached that I could easily throw on my head, which I even wore to my first post-shave infusion, but all that came later.
One early treatment day, while I was in the consult room waiting for my appointment with the nurse practitioner, I got a call back from the salon owner.
She wanted to understand what was going on. She had heard about the wig from the stylist's perspective, and, as a long-term customer of the salon, she wanted to know what I wanted her to do about it.
"I'm sure she didn't create this issue maliciously," I said. "She was really just trying to help me, and I do appreciate that. But I don't think she knew what she was doing, and I don't think it's fair that I have to pay for her time at this point."
The salon owner totally agreed and told me not to worry about the stylist's fee. She even said she had spoken to one of her salon suppliers who also carries wigs and that he had some good purple wigs he was going to bring by. I told the owner not to stress about it, but she was insistent.
Another week or so went by when I got a follow-up text message from the salon owner saying that the purple wigs were in. I told her that I was wanting to come in soon anyway to get a preemptive pixie haircut. We agreed that I would look at the purple wigs then.
I came in on that Saturday, got my short-lived pixie, and perused her purple wigs. They were all quite distant from my original idea, but the owner pressed me to take one on the house, so I did. The wig I chose looked to me like a cross between Miss Piggy and a Disney princess character -- it's not a look I'm probably going to go out in public with much, but hey, I did have a purple hair solution if I wanted it!
But none of this really solved my problem.
Even with my pixie haircut, I realized it was nice to have some hair poking out under hats and scarves. At the time, I didn’t know there were products like Headcovers’s headbands with removable tendrils/side fringe, so I went looking for a cute, inexpensive pixie wig close to my hair color that I might just wear under head gear. And, after a few bad choices, I found a decent one, but I only ended up wearing it twice.
That then brings me back to my Debacle Wig.
As it turned out, the day I went in for my pixie cut and purple wig, I also picked up my human hair wig. I brought it home, and tackled it the next day. Let me just say that dyeing a wig is A LOT harder than dyeing your own hair! I watched video how-tos on YouTube and did my best to put the dye on evenly. I used a second box when I thought I was not going to get enough coverage out of one container. Rinsing the wig out fully was an equal challenge, and so was applying styling products and blow-drying the thing so it looked halfway decent.
The final result?
I have to say, I was pretty proud of the outcome…though I never want to dye and style another wig again! It turned out a little mangy, but not so awful that I couldn’t wear it at all. In fact, I wore it under a broad-rimmed sun hat to a friend’s summer wedding and again to an anniversary dinner.
Looking back on this whole disaster experience, my personal takeaways are that ultimately what I wore on my head most of the time was more about comfort than anything. Wigs mattered less and got used a whole lot less than my soft, breathable fabric headcovers like scarves, bandanas, and chemo caps. I didn’t know that going in, and maybe even having this knowledge ahead of time would not have stopped me from wanting a quality cancer wig to make me feel more like myself every day.
The idea of losing one’s hair so quickly and radically is incredibly stressful. We all need to do what we feel will help us through. There are no right decisions and nothing to be ashamed about, whether you choose to wear a wig, wear a hat, wear fabric headcovers, or go completely bald. It’s all a personal decision for each patient to make.